MB highlights some fast offensive starts around the league before Eric shares his first impressions of MLB watching. After they swap exciting news from each of their home teams (spoiler alert: MB's is a contract extension, Eric's is food), MB explains the slash line while Eric punches in sweet Slash-inspired guitar licks. They bring it home by taking a page out of the league's book to speed up the podcast's pace of play.
- Christian Yelich joined Willie Mays, Mark McGwire, Nelson Cruz, Chris Davis, and Trevor Story as players who homered in the first four games of the season. (Not Barry Bonds or whoever else is said.)
- Paul Goldschmidt is 31.
- The Braves' ace is pronounced "Folt-uh-NEV-ich." MB knows this, but she was high & hasn't said his name out loud in 6 months.
- Mike Trout has a career .573 slugging percentage.
